To the man
that i will love after this..
There’s so much i ask of you but here is one.
There are a lot of times where I don’t know which way is up.
I’ll spend
days and months trying to figure out how to swim in a shallow water and stand
up on the ocean ground and I will need your hands but don’t pull me out of the
water.
Just be with
me till I figure out how to move my limbs in the right way so that I dont
drown.
Be with me
when I fail to learn how to catch my breath and I have to drown.
Be with me
when I drown.
I have to
apologize for a lot of things but here is one.
I don’t know
how to draw a rest exclamation like I don’t understand what it is to be calm.
My mind is a
rattling old box and it makes so much angry noises.
It rattles
even without you trying to shake it.
It rattles the
most when I lie every night and try to sleep as much as it is when I’m in
between of my sleeps.
I am sorry if it keeps you up at night. I am
sorry if it’s too loud at times.
I’m sorry if it tries to argue with you and call
you at silly times.
It has been lonely for a while now and I wonder
if it’s loud because it’s empty or heavy.
I'm sorry..
Jakarta,
24.04.2018